So I had the Galaxy Note 7. You know, the one that started fucking exploding. I'll just put it out there for the haters that I'm an Android guy. I give iphone users (including my wife) a lot of shit. I have nothing against Apple, I had the iphone 3 and 4. I do it because sometimes it feels good to be an asshole, like a long stretch when you first wake up. Android has so many ways to customize the settings and the interface, by comparison, iOS just feels boring. Plus Apple puts too many restrictions on their users.
I was a proud owner of the Galaxy Note 4 and 5, so when the Note 7 was announced, I was tickled in the part of my brain that gets horny for tech and Starwars. Over and over I was reading the specs online. Any leaked pics or video I would pour over like conspiracy theorists analyzing the Zapruder film. Or like that guy from Ancient Aliens with the Thundercat hair.
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| Thundercats! Hooooooooooo! |
All in all, the Note 7 was adding up to be an impressive piece of hahd-weah, and I couldn't wait to get my greasy hands on it. I ordered it through the internet, because the T-Mobile store was out and I felt like complaining to my family for two weeks until it arrived. I spent a week tweaking the settings and the look once I got it. This, to me, is the best part. I don't know why. I don't point out all of your quirks, so lets move on. I was just starting to get invested in the phone, emotionally, when I read the first report of a Note 7 exploding. I think it was in Korea. I dismissed it. It must be that poor twat's phone, no way this could turn into an epidemic.
A hundred blown up phones later, we had an unprecedented recall of an entire phone model. "No worries!" assured Samsung, "We'll give you a new Note 7, for freeeeee!" Ok. Cool. Inconvenient, but it was either exchange it, or walk around with a device that at any moment, could turn into a serious case of hot-ball.
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| Picture unrelated |
I like being a T-Mobile customer, their customer service is great over the phone, and I would advertise if they paid me. It's the store. Only in Walmart do you usually see such disdain for it's customers. I couldn't do this exchange over the phone, so I had to go to the one(!) retail store in my area that wasn't in a location best described as the earth's own bleeding hemorrhoid. I stepped through the door and figured I'd be out of there in a half an hour, tops. Oh, the joyful notions I entertain. The girl at the counter greeted me with the warmth of a frozen potato, and she had a concerning sore on her mouth. I explained my situation and began the exchange. Oh, and this was on my birthday.
T-Mobile policy at that time was to put the money I paid for the phone back on my card, then I would pay it back to them toward the new phone. Of course, no deposit that size is instant. I had just paid the rent, so of course I didn't have $800 fucking dollars. The girl said, "No way around it, unless you pay the money, we can't give you a phone." So their solution was basically just fuck you, pay me, like goddamn Goodfellas. I looked her right in her herpe and stated "You're ruining my birthday". I had to drive home in silence, no podcasts, no Spotify. Was I supposed to just listen to the radio, like some asshole? I'm above such peasantry. The end result is that I switched to the Galaxy S7 Edge and its awesome. Anti-climactic, I know.
"You used to call me on my cell phone
Late night when you need my love" -- Drake
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